My Being Missing in Action

It's taken me some time to get my head around what has been happening to me. You see, I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. (Should breast cancer be capitalized?)

Back up in time to February when I went in for my yearly physical. The physical included having a mammogram. You see, I hadn't had one done in over ten years. I also have a strong family history of breast cancer, my mother who died at 42 and paternal aunt who died in her 70s and, a family history of cancer in general. My father who had lung cancer who died at 75 and a younger brother with brain cancer who died at 41. Good enough reasons to get that mammogram done.

I went to a nearby hospital on a Saturday... yes they were open on a weekends to allow working women to get their mammograms done. The mammogram went well and was done fairly quickly. The tech talked of her life and a friend who was just starting back in the dating world at the ripe age of 60. We had a few laughs talking about dating. When she was done shooting the pictures, she left the pictures up on the viewing screen as she left the room. 

As a retired RN, I have seen plenty of xrays in my day. What I saw on the screen scared the bejesus out of me. There were two lesions in my left breast. But, nothing was said by the tech except, "you can get dressed now". I drove home stunned and really unsure about what I had actually seen. Though in emails to friends and family I spoke of seeing those lesions.

 I was called by the hospital the next week to come in and have more pictures taken and to also have an ultrasound done. These were read immediately by the radiologist as I waited in the ultrasound room. She (nice that it was a women too) came in to speak to me. She told me the lesions were "suspicious" and needed further investigation. I can not remember exactly what she said to me. My brain shut down I think.  I started crying.. I don't remember the half hour drive home that day. Scary to think I was driving in that kind of condition. But, I had no one with me. Dumb move that.

I do remember the radiologist telling me the information was going to be faxed to my general practitioner. It would be imperative for me to see him as soon as possible. Yeah right..... ! I was working full time, my doctor's office is a good distance away (80 kms/50 miles one way) and he is a busy man. I tried unsuccessfully to book an earlier appt. than the one I had scheduled in about 4 weeks time. I even tried to make it to one of his clinics were it's a first come, first served situation. But, on our (my husband and I) way in there was a freak blizzard that turned us around and headed us back to home. I eventually heard from the doctor's office a week before my appt. was due. The message was he wanted to see me as soon as possible in the office. If you guessed I didn't miss that appointment, you are right.

to be continued.....